Visceral
by DigisoulWings
Summary: Rain, what Sanzo never really enjoyed. It made him uneasy, about the past. Though Goku was always beside him to help Sanzo through the difficult times. (AU)


Visceral  
Saiyuki  
T  
Goku/Sanzo  
AU  
Hurt/Comfort & Friendship

* * *

It was raining outside as Sanzo stood in the room he shared with Goku. No expression on his face, as his eyes were distant, watching the rain pelt the earth. As always, when it rained, he was reminded of his master - his father. The flashes of broken memories made the Monk wince as he fell back onto the single bed in the room.

It wasn't as if he didn't want to remember anything, he did, but the act of recalling the bad memories always made him crushed under the weight of his sins. It hurt to remember, and he held his chest, trying to breathe. Hands trembled and his eyes clenched shut, his jaw was stiff with emotion and he curled up in the sheets. As he lay there, the rain pounded down, making so much noise, relentless upon the roof. Sanzo's eyes were soon wide open as he shifted onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He was just remembering, not seeing.

Learning to work with others, and function as a person; Talking with his master about anything endlessly; The damn paper airplanes…

His master was kind, willing, and passionate about helping Kouryuu (at that time) be the best he could be. Being near him, the orphan could only aspire to be the same one day...But it wasn't meant to be.

Drawing breathe Sanzo was sweating - why? It dripped down his face and into his eyes, making him squirm. Sitting up in a rush, he felt so hot so he quickly shed his robe and sutra, folding both up and placing then on his pillow. The sound of the rain was in his ears as he stood from the bed, making his way to the door on the other side of the room. Hands reaching for the knob shook, and he opened the door, stepping out into the hall. Sanzo made for the front door to the small inn, the rain roaring in his ears.

Rain. It silenced everything as he opened the door and wandered outside. Immediately he was drenched, and felt his feet getting cold, but didn't mind. He was barefoot, and held his face up to the sky. Feeling nothing but numbness, it wasn't due to the rain, but of the memories that haunted him.

The foreboding rain on the temple roof. Finding his master dying. Unable to help in any way, just having to sit there.

It gnawed at him to have the memories racing through his head. Though, they were his and his alone. They weighed heavy on both mind and heart but he had to hold onto them, even though they were unpleasant. Sanzo stood in the rain, face tilted toward the heavens, unmoving and so quiet.

Goku had just finished a shower and was fluffing his hair with a towel, as he came to knock on the door to their room. "Sanzo, I hope you're not asleep!" Opening the door, he poked in his head, but didn't see the Monk. "Dammit, where could he have gone?" Thoroughly checking the inn, his body turned toward the front door, which was open.

It could only mean one thing.  
Sanzo was outside.  
Crap.

The door was wide open as Goku hurried toward the threshold, wrapping a hand on the wood, and feeling the wetness. The sight of Sanzo outside in the pouring rain made the Monkey speechless, and the breath caught in his throat. The sight tore at him entirely, his heart breaking for the Monk.

Sanzo standing in the rain, it just made Goku so sad. He dashed out topless and ran to the other, shouting his name.

"Sanzo!" Coming to stand beside the Monk, he looked up and saw the other's face. Sanzo wasn't even batting an eye as the rain came down on him, and Goku stood enthralled. "Sanzo…." Taking hold of the other's cold, frigid hand, the Monkey just held on tightly. No reaction was gained from the other, but Goku didn't care. He'd stand with Sanzo through anything.

The Monk could barely breathe, emotion welling in his throat. The memories were that intense, as the rain fell. He was crying, but one couldn't tell, and he shook all over. Suddenly, he felt a hand in his own - who? Purple eyes broke and blinked before the head moved to see Goku, holding his hand. Breath came, ragged and strained, as he looked at Goku, and squeezed his hand.

Feeling the monk squeeze his hand, the Monkey looked up and cried out Sanzo's name, clinging to him. Arm wrapped around the blonde's waist, Goku hugged and held on for what seemed like forever till there came a hand to rest on his head. Sanzo's hand… Goku smiled.


End file.
